Heart People

“Look out for those who look out for you. Loyalty is everything!”

Mom friends … who knew what a big impact they can make in this season of life?

I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, as long as I can remember. What I didn’t know is, how this can change your social life so much! I never thought in my 30’s, I would need such a support group. Being at home all day with little ones is amazing in so many ways. I get to watch each milestone, I get to be their greatest influence (what a big role with lots of pressure), and I get to be here when they go through tough times. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, as an stay at home mom knows. That’s when Jesus and a group of friends, who are in this same season, are so important. It can get lonely not talking to adults sometimes. Sometimes I need a person to vent to, or to talk through mom challenges. Sometimes, I just want to talk about random, unimportant things, just to be heard by another adult.

This past year has been such a weird (understatement of the season) year! C~19 wrecked havoc on everything “normal”. School wasn’t normal, social activities weren’t normal. Shopping and eating out wasn’t normal. Time with friends and family wasn’t normal. I watched people close to me all deal with it in their own way. Some making the best of the extra time with their family, and some completely annoyed by it all. I was probably somewhere in between. The hardest part for me, was watching changes … relationships, and priorities of people change. I don’t like change!

I had a year of feeling uncertain about where some of my friendships were going. Many people would gather in smaller groups, due to the virus. Often times, I wasn’t included in that, and my heart broke. Many times, I cried, I was angry and I felt lost. I need people, my people, to help get through this unprecedented year! I learned in this year, who “my people” were, and I mourned the changes in others. I have never experienced a year like this, where I led myself to believe I wasn’t good enough, or I didn’t matter. I’m disappointed I ever let myself, and others, make me believe such a lie.

Fast forward, over a year after the pandemic started … I have realized God was shaking me, saying “wake up, stop looking down, and see who and what I have placed before you!” I am who He made me. I need to embrace those that love me for me. I am not alone. I am loved. I am ENOUGH … and … he has given me my “HEART PEOPLE”. This is a term I read in a book. Sometimes we don’t always see the people God places in front of us. Sometimes, we have blinders on. Sometimes, those people have been there (and I’ve known it) for a long time. My heart people care! They know what I have been through this year. They’ve checked in, they’ve sent messages, they’ve called, and prayed. I’ve spent more time in prayer, seeking God’s direction. I’ve read self-love books, opened up to those I trust, and even seeked out a counselor’s wisdom. I have 4 daughters watching me, and that includes watching my relationships. I need to be an example to them. I need to be prepared to help them navigate friendships, and changes that come with it. I need to teach them that their value is not in other people. They were perfectly created!

Who knew a crazy pandemic could bring on so many changes in people, relationships, and perspectives. My heart is still a work in progress. I’m still learning to love myself, despite how important others make me feel. I’m learning my value isn’t dependent on others, but on God. I’m still trying to be an example for the daughters God blessed me with.

We all need mom friends. We all need a support group. We all need those people who “get” us. We all need loyal friends. I’m thankful God is showing me who those are! I’m most thankful that I’m learning to love myself more than ever!